Life with an Orange Menace
by kiraiakuma
Summary: Pranking civilians is easy, Naruto found out early. However walking the easy path was never his style. So he attempts to prank ninja. That is as hard as it sounds, as some of them are going to show.
1. Anbu always get revenge

Live with an Orange Menace

- - -

Anbu always get revenge

- - -

This isn't about Naruto, at least it isn't directly about him. This also isn't about the main characters, this is about the normal people (or as normal as ninja are ever going to get) and how they have to deal with Naruto. So I hope you can forgive me the heavy use of Original characters, in this story.

- - -

An orange figure slowly crept into the anbu headquarter. Every few steps the figure stopped and looked around carefully. After spotting nobody the figure crept on.

A few minutes later it had managed to reach the locker rooms. A manic grin spread over it's features, as it pulled out a small bag. Carefully opening a locker, it cringed at the creaking and the slight draft that went through the room for a second.

It took a handful of the powder in the bag, and sprinkled it onto the clothes hanging in the locker, repeating the process for all the other lockers. Then the figure retreated, carefully creeping through the empty building.

After a few more minutes the figure emerged into the light, a manic grin on his face, Naruto made good on his escape, barely managing to suppress his giggles.

- - -

As the eight year old boy walked away from the anbu headquarter, the anbu on duty watched him with smirks on their faces, one of them held a small bag in his hand, a bag that looked just like the one Naruto had used to carry his powder in.

"So, when will he notice the itching powder?" One of the anbu asked, curiously watching the retreating boy.

"Right about..." the man with the powder said, as Naruto stopped and started scratching himself, "now."

The anbu sniggered, as they watched the would be prankster scratch himself all over.

"Really should have known better, than to try and prank us." Another anbu shook his head.

"Alright, that's enough." Came the voice of their leader. "We still have to prepare for the mission, breaks over... and good work Crab."

"I aim to please" Crab responded, chuckling.

The anbu disappeared back into the building, while Naruto hurried home to wash the itching powder off.

- - -

Crab hopped from roof to roof, whistling a little ditty. Work was over for the day and he looked forward to a bit of fun with his girlfriend.

A blob of orange stopped him in his tracks. He watched as the orange menace, otherwise known as the sucker, easy target, or Naruto, made his way into one of the market stalls. Crab looked around, there were a few other ninja, though most were genin, he only spotted one other jonin and one chunin. But while the jonin had spotted Naruto the chunin hadn't. He was of course busy, haggling with a merchant, so that was excusable.

Crab looked at the jonin, then at Naruto. The jonin raised an eyebrow, Crab shrugged. The genin were oblivious. Probably fresh from the academy.

Now what either Crab or the jonin were supposed to do was stop Naruto. Of course, that would mean they had to deal with him... yeah no way in hell, that brat was loud enough to rupture an eardrum if you got too close. And he would have to file a report... or he could ignore it and make his way to his girlfriend.

No contest really. Watching the jonin he could see the same thought process going on behind his eyes. They both turned to the chunin, still busy haggling. The jonin smirked, as did Crab, though you couldn't see it behind the mask.

With a wave Crab disappeared. Let the chunin deal with it. Crab had better things to do.

A few seconds later he heard screaming from somewhere behind him. Ah the joys of spotting trouble before it started.

- - -

Makeiro leaned back on his chair, he had just been promoted to jonin. Which was taken as an excuse to party by his new colleagues

"Man what a party." He muttered, lazily watching the room.

Besides him Fu nodded. "Best initiation party I've ever been to. Only party better was the one the orange sucker tried to crash." He sniggered. "Never seen somebody get drunk so fast."

Makeiro blinked. "Orange sucker?"

Nodding Fu took another gulp. "Naruto." He paused, then continued grinning. "Tried to sneak in, we caught him almost immediately. Of course, we didn't let him know that."

"Huh? But why?" Makeiro asked.

"Cause watching him try to be stealthy is just way too hilarious. Seriously the kids a comedic goldmine." Fu laughed loudly. "Especially if you get him drunk." He looked Makeiro, cheeks flushed with alcohol and laughter. "And the best thing? He doesn't remember a thing the next morning."

Makeiro nodded, then frowned. "You know, not that I care... but isn't giving a kid alcohol dangerous?"

Fu shrugged. "Yeah but we are careful not to give him too much. He's a total lightweight anyways. One cup of sake and he dances on the table." His gaze went to one of the jonin doing just that, to the catcalls of several kunoichi. "Juuuuust like that..." as the clothes came of he quickly returned his eyes to Makeiro." Without the stripping obviously...."

Makeiro nodded. "Ahh that's good, wouldn't want to explain to the hokage why the brat keeled over."

Fu shrugged. "Eh, I suppose."

"I just hope I won't have to deal with him anymore, hunting the brat down is such a drag." Makeiro said.

Fu blinked in confusion. "Hunt him down? Kid, you're a jonin now. If the brat is causing trouble you ignore him." Fu nodded, the very picture of authority. "As if we would waste our time with a prankster. Hah!"

Makeiro blinked. Looked at his glass and blinked again. "Are you telling me, that if a jonin saw Naruto prepare a prank, say on a shopkeeper, and a chunin was busy haggling those bloodsuckers down to reasonable prices, the jonin would then ignore Naruto and let the chunin, who let's say hadn't eaten anything in quite a while, deal with the aftermath?"

Fu looked up, the look in Makeiro's eyes were strained, just like his voice. Fu gulped.

"Err..." He thought back a few days, he had seen the brat... as had that anbu... and they did leave a chunin to deal with the fallout... he gulped again. Those questions were a wee bit specific.

"That chunin wouldn't happen to be you?" He asked, almost afraid.

Makeiro smiled. "Why whatever gave you that idea?" Fu let go of the breath he didn't notice holding in. He had been worried there for a second. He took another sip of sake... he didn't know how many he had, but it was clear he didn't have enough.

"Yeah, let the poor sap deal with it." He nodded, then blinked... wait why did he just say that? He looked at the alcohol again, then carefully up at the cheerfully smiling Makeiro. Scratch not having enough he had far, far too much alcohol.

Fu tensed, this would require all the coordination he had left.

Makeiro slowly shifted his chair back, his eyes never leaving Fu's.

There was almost no warning. The slightest twitch in Makeiro's eye, but it was enough.

"You bastard left me to deal with all those irate shopkeepers!" Makeiro shouted, as he threw the first kunai. Fu barely dodged it. "Do you know when I managed to get home? Three hours later!"

More kunai flew past his head and Fu decided that it was past time to get home himself. Stumbling backwards, he was stopped for a second by something soft. However his momentum carried him and whatever he ran into to the ground. Two more kunai just missing his head.

"Oof!" He gasped, hitting the ground. The soft something made approximately the same sound. Though it did break his fall somewhat. He blinked, his thoughts moving at the speed of snail on glue.

Oh! He fell on somebody. That made sense... and the kunai had stopped flying. That was good wasn't it?

He looked for Makeiro, but the kid was gone, strange, he thought he would have to dodge kunai till he was safely back home.

"Ohh a volunteer." A voice giggled drunkenly behind, no under him. Two arms circled his waist. "Hmm nice muscles too." The same voice. He turned around. And suddenly his thoughts sped up to normal again, as pure terror flushed his system of alcohol. Anko Miterashi smiled lazily at him. "You are veeeery pretty you know that?" She slurred. Fu's eyes widened. And he tried to jump up.

Anko giggled. "Nooo you mushtend leave. We are going to have soo much fun!" She giggled. And Fu did the only thing he could. He screamed in terror.

- - -

Makeiro watched from a table over, a broad smile on his face. Revenge was served, and it was served well.

- - -

Crab groaned once again. Though his groan turned into a yawn halfway through.

He hurt, he hurt all over. Stupid mission, stupid forest, stupid wolves and stupid teammates. He whimpered. All he wanted was his bed, his bed and a week of sleep.

Dragging himself through the streets of Konoha he briefly wondered how many anbu had to deal with overgrown wolves enraged by stupid teammates. But the train of thought slipped, like every other thought he had that didn't involve his bed.

Sighing he fished for his keys. Nearly there, he had nearly reached nirvana.

The door creaked open, and he sleepily stumbled into his apartment, hopped over the tripwire installed just behind the door and pulsed his chakra for a second, deactivating the more complicated traps.

He blinked for a second, there was something missing? Shaking his head he closed the door, he was too tired. Whatever it was could wait till morning. He needed sleep, he didn't have any since four days ago. Stupid bugs.

He didn't bother turning on the light, he simply stumbled into his bedroom and fell into his bed, boots, armor and mask still on. Sleep, sweet beautiful sleep. Sweet soft bed, with an uncomfortable lump in it.

Lump?

He opened his eyes again and pushed himself up. Slowly he lifted the blanket. Beneath was a ball, the size of a fist, he had seen one of those before, but where. His brain slowly came online again, as adrenalin flooded through his body.

"That joke shop..." Was his last thought before the ball exploded, generously coating his bedroom and him in sticky fluid.

Crab stood still, he couldn't make out what it was that hit him, but judging by the smell it was some sort of paint.

Slowly he made his way to the light switch.

Orange, his entire bedroom was covered in orange.

He stared for a second, then looked into his living room, most of the traps in there were triggered. Nodding to himself he switched the light off again and stumbled back to bed, it was too late to deal with this.

As he fell into bed again he snorted. He had to give it to the brat, he was persistent. To keep going after the flamethrower and the shock tag? Persistent, very persistent.

Still, he would have his revenge, oh yes he would have his revenge.

After laundry and repainting his bedroom and the repairs from his traps. He suppressed a whimper, this would take a while.

His last thought, as he drifted off to dreams of hunting down a blond jinchuriku, were of setting his stupid teammates and the stupid wolves and the stupid bugs and the stupid forest against the brat, that would teach em.

- - -

Crab whistled, as he walked to Konoha's market. It was a good day, no missions, the sun was shining, he had a date and he got paid today. Overall it didn't get much better than this.

He lazily watched the streets, he still hadn't managed to get revenge on the brat for his bedroom, but he was willing to let bygones be bygones. The brat had earned that prank by making it through his traps. Besides he was too lazy to hunt him down. He paused.

Well, speak of the devil. Maybe he would get his revenge after all.

Naruto walked down the street, well stalked down the street really. Hiding behind dumpsters, houses and civilians, whatever the eight year old could find.

Crab frowned, who was the target, he could inform them of their stalker if they didn't already know.

Hmm, a bunch of civilians, Gai talking to Asuma, both aware of the brat, but he wasn't watching them, Anko skipping down the street, dango sticks in hand, more civilians, an academy brat. Wait. Anko skipping down the street?

He looked at Naruto, followed his gaze. Yes there was no doubt, the brat's target was definitely Anko. He nodded to himself, so he would go to her and tell her...

The idiot was stalking who?

Crabs eyes widened when he saw Naruto rear back a paint bomb in hand. Was the kid insane? If Anko wasn't so focused on her dango she would have... well he didn't know what she would have done, but it wouldn't have been pleasant!

He barely registered that he had started running, why was he doing this? Why was he protecting the brat from himself?

He looked at Anko, oh, right.

He managed to catch the paint bomb before it hit Anko, however his momentum carried him on and into an alley, where he hit a wall, hard.

He looked at the bomb, good, it didn't go off.

He turned around, Anko looked around, searching for whatever had caught her attention, shrugged and went back to munching her dango. Crab exhaled, close call that.

He looked at Naruto, barely visible from the alley. He stared confusedly from his hiding spot, probably wondering why Anko wasn't painted orange. A frown slowly spreading across his face.

Crab groaned, as he saw Naruto pull out another sphere, this time itching powder.

Crab briefly wondered what it said about him that he considered the joke shop a valid supplier of ninja equipment, before he once again jumped to intercept the projectile.

Really, nobody deserved the wrath of Anko. He thought, as he caught the bomb. And crashed into another alley.

He blinked, the wall was pretty damn hard, but his previous thought wasn't entirely correct was it? Plenty of people deserved the wrath of Anko, her previous teacher for one.

He stashed the itching powder bomb.

Though he supposed, most people who deserved her wrath, weren't eight years old. And while the demon fox might deserve it, he knew enough about sealing, to know that the brat wasn't the demon. Probably. So no need to let him suffer under it.

On the other hand, the brat was preparing another throw! Didn't he ever give up?

Crab didn't jump this time, he simply stepped in front of the brat and caught the projectile, a simple water balloon this time and put it to with the others.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Err you might not want to do that." He said.

Crab frowned, why wouldn't?

The balloon exploded, blinding him and throwing him on his back. Painfully. Luckily he stashed the bomb in his armored west, otherwise this would have been even worse, the water dripped from his face.

Crab paused, water? He slowly wiped away the paint he was now coated in, his left eye twitched. The paint and the itching powder too.

Oh god, it already started to work.

"Wow, that sucks." Anko said, leaning over him. "But why did you catch that? Wasn't for you was it?"

He slowly shook his head, clearing it form cobwebs. "No." He muttered.

"Hmm, who was the brat aiming for then?" She asked.

Behind his mask crab smiled, his eyes narrowed as he looked at Naruto. "Doesn't matter, he'll deal with me now."

Naruto gulped. "Err I tried to warn you old man?" He said, weakly.

Crab slowly got up, eyes twitching. A lesser man would have broken down begging for mercy. He was itching all over, even his face was demanding attention. But he. Would. Not. Break!

"Yes," he ground out, "but I still owe you for last week anyways. And so you get to suffer for this too."

Naruto's eyes widened fearfully. "Ahhh you are that masked guy with all those traps in his house! You are insane!" he screamed.

"Not yet." Crab hissed. Though if he didn't get a shower and soon he would be. Oh god he wanted to scratch himself all over.

Naruto looked left and right, scratching the back of his head. "Ehehe uhh would it help to say I'm sorry old man?"

Crab shook his head. He noticed Anko had disappeared, that was good. He would have the brat all to himself. "No it won't."

Naruto shrugged, "Well... and old man like you will never catch me anyways!" he shouted, turned around and ran.

Crab snorted, if he had been a chunin the brat might have given him trouble, thanks to the itching powder.

Must not scratch!

But he was an Anbu, the elite. Not some idiotic little brat with too much energy and too little brain.

Crab jumped on the wall, and ran after the brat, horizontally to the ground. Easily avoiding the masses the brat used to hide in.

Naruto shot a look behind him and stopped, apparently confused, at his pursuers disappearance. "Where is the old man?" He asked himself.

"Right here brat." Crab said, grabbing Naruto by the neck. "And you and me, are going to become fast friends now." He smirked.

Naruto gulped, as he was carried away.

- - -

Crab hummed happily, as he prepared the ramen. Revenge was sweet indeed.

He saw his captain coming in, searching for something. When he spotted Crab he walked over.

"Say, any idea why Uzumaki is in one of our cells, running in circles?" He asked.

Crab shrugged. "Probably because he hasn't eaten for four hours and is seeing a floating bowl of ramen."

The captain nodded. "And why is he in our cell, being tortured?" He continued patiently.

Again Crab shrugged. "He hit me with itching powder, paint and water."

"Alright I see why he must be punished, but isn't that just a bit cruel?"

Crab glared at the captain. "No it isn't, this is also for my bedroom last week. And besides. This? This is nothing."

The captain raised an eyebrow. "Nothing?"

Crab nodded calmly. "He was trying to hit Anko."

His captain stared, opened his mouth, stared some more, opened his mouth again, he paled.

"I see, carry on then." He finally said. "Oh and sorry for doubting you."

Crab smiled and waved, as the captain left the kitchen. He was hungry, the noddles where nearly done and he had a prisoner to taunt. Life was good.


	2. Hyuga Conspiracy

Live with an Orange Menace

- - -

Hyuga Conspiracy

- - -

Hiashi slowly sipped at his tea, contemplating the paper in front of him.

A request for marriage from one of the branch members. A marriage not approved of by the elders, especially since the guy wanted to marry out of the clan. And a civilian at that!

Approved.

And let the old goats choak. He chuckled lightly. He loved paperwork. Not only did it give him an excuse to sit in his office all day, drinking tea. It also meant doing so uninterrupted. And as an added bonus, he could tweak the noses of the clan elders while doing so. Without them being able to do anything about it. Life was good.

He sipped his tea again. Hmm empty, a quick glance at the pot confirmed, it was empty too.

He stretched, an opportunity to move around wouldn't go amiss, sitting idle for too long at a time wasn't good. He would end up like those harpys, if he kept it up.

Opening the door to the house he immediately noticed it. The noise. Now the house always had a certain background noise, but usually it was very muted, barely noticeable in fact. Today though. It was as if every member of the house was busy with the most noisy task they could think of.

He frowned, activating the byakugan he had a quick look around.

Well, it seemed everybody was busy with the noisiest task they could think of, also talking, they were all talking animatedly with each other. Nothing unusual about talking. But, not quite with that intensity... or that manic cheerfulness for that matter. These grins were slightly unsettling.

Carefully he made his way to the kitchen, keeping an eye open for anything strange.

It took him half the way, to notice it. It, was orange. Apparently Uzumaki Naruto somehow had made it into...

He looked at the path Naruto must have come through, a path filled with branch members, who all didn't see him?

He looked closer, though he never stopped walking towards the kitchen, Uzumaki wasn't his problem after all.

It was interesting to note, that Uzumaki couldn't have taken another path, than the one he was currently walking. A path that would take him right into Hiashi's arms very soon. At every opportunity to deviate from it there were branch members, busy with one thing or another.

He blinked, confused. They were guiding him?

He slid the kitchen door open, and came face to face with a branch member, byakugan also active, probably tracking Uzumaki.

Hiashi quickly checked the path ahead. Hmm, led straight into the elders rooms...

Behind him Uzumaki just rounded the corner. His shocked face, as he spotted the two Hyuga watching each other would warm Hiashi's heart for some time to come.

"I'm out of tea." Hiashi said, ignoring the boy.

The branch members eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, he opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds. Rather like a fish. Hiashi had trouble keeping his face impassive.

Naruto was standing there, doing his best impression of the Hokage monument. Well, the best impression of his fathers part of the monument.

The branch member caught himself, and nodded slowly.

"Of course." He bowed slightly and went to collect a new pot. Naruto meanwhile had reacquired himself with motion, if not stealth. He hid himself behind a crude painting of a wooden fence. Hiashi dearly hoped nobody heard the snort, that had escaped him there. The boy now stood out worse, than in his orange jumpsuit.

Ahh this took him back. The boys father had been just as much of an idiot when he was that age. Hiashi desperately suppressed a snicker, as he thought back to the day Minato had tried to prank the elders.

He frowned thoughtfully, there was something about that... he fought back through the fog of memories.

It had been a busy day then too. But all the branch members were, for once, smiling. The elders were out then too...

The branch member he had sent for tea was threatened to the image of Hiashi desperately attempting to suppress gales of laughter. He was shaking with the effort.

"Uhh sir?" The man asked. "Is everything alright?"

A snicker escaped Hiashi, as he nodded. He didn't dare speak. Like father, like son. And both duped by the branch members.

He looked quickly at the moving fence in the hallway, the branch members look following his. Both looked at each other. And now the branch member, a lot of branch members, who kept observing Naruto, seemed to have trouble not breaking out in gales of laughter, giving the jig away.

"Now what's this?" A withered old voice cut through their attempts to stave off laughter.

Hiashi gulped, old Furui Kara, the lady of the kitchen, as far back as Hiashi could remember. Was she always this old? He didn't think so. But then, he didn't think about her at all if he could avoid it. She scarred him.

"Two grown men just standing in the hallway, staring at each other." She shook her head. "Don't you two have work to do?" Both men gulped under the glare. Hiashi hastily accepted the proffed pot of tea, as the branch member excused himself and left the vicinity of the old bat.

She looked at Hiashi. "Well, I suppose you can do what you want. And if that is to stand around staring at branch members, " Her eyes flickered in Naruto's direction. And a slightly... nostalgic, smile fought it's way to her lips. "There isn't much I can do." Shaking her head she turned to walk away.

Then she turned around again, took Hiashi's free hand and dropped something into it.

When she left Hiashi examined the object.

A bonbon. He had just been bribed, or maybe rewarded for his silence with a bonbon.

He didn't know whether the old bat simply went senile or whether she actually knew what she was doing.

A bonbon!

His eyes shifted. It had been a while since he could indulge himself in any sort of sweet. Damn rules of Hyuga conduct never left him alone.

The treat disappeared. Nobody would talk about today, a bit of self indulgence was just fine.

He made his way back to his study. Naruto had reached the elders rooms by now and was causing whatever havoc would cause.

Hiashi set the pot down.

Lifting an eyebrow he noticed that at least one main family member had noticed the boy, was in fact watching him with rapt attention. From the safety of her room, of course.

How cute, his little girl had her first crush. And like any good Hyuga she was "observing her target, to ensure his or her worthiness as an addition to the Hyuga clan", as the elders liked to put it.

In other words, she was stalking the boy, since she just didn't get the nerves up to talk to him.

Or, if it wasn't his daughter, it was just plain stalking without a chance of getting caught. There was a reason why all elders and many adult Hyuga, male or female no matter how much they did not protest, always had advanced copies of Icha Icha.

But his daughter was different. She didn't talk to Uzumaki because she was shy. Not because she only wanted to watch, for now.

He was perfectly fine with her crushing on the Uzumaki boy. If he was anything like his father...

And he was. The pranks, the stupid stubbornness, the utter denial of reality.

No, he was his fathers kid. And if he survived his first few years as a ninja, which wasn't certain for any ninja, he would probably make an exceptional one. No matter what his grades said. Not as if his fathers where much better. He chuckled as he thought back.

Minato always showed more interest in the practical aspects of being a ninja. Though show him an interesting application of a mental problem and that stubbornness would carry him through the more intellectual challenges.

Hmm yes, if Uzumaki did survive to grow into his potential. And if his daughter still was interested...

And the faces of the old foggies. Those alone would be worth it. And if Hinata didn't get over her weakness, marrying the son of Minato would still net her considerable political power.

He shrugged, that was all in the future. And he would do his damnest to make sure Hinata did get over her problems. She couldn't afford to be weak as a ninja. It was just far too dangerous out there, and she was just a little girl...

He relaxed his grip on the cup. His knuckles white. His little girl would become good enough to defend herself.

He looked at her again... was she having a nosebleed... he might have to explain a few facts of life to her rather sooner than planed. He wasn't looking forward to that talk. And not just because it would be embarrassing her and him. Mostly he wasn't looking forward to it, because he would have to wake her up again every few seconds.

He leaned back, Uzumaki had made it out of the compound. Nobody important the wiser.

He stopped all movement as a thought came to him, clear as night. Hinata used her byankuan to spy on Uzumaki. From her own room. Halfway across the compound!

Maybe all she lacked to be a truly terrifying kunoichi was motivation. Though capturing Uzumaki and using him as a prize for her wasn't all that appealing. Too much hassle, too loud and the hokage wouldn't approve.

Well there would be other ways. Hopefully. First though he would have to deal with whatever Uzumaki had wrought. And with his desire to laugh in the elders face. Today would be difficult, if amusing.

- - -

Sarutobi looked at the little boy in front of him. Oh, he appeared to be cowed, head bowed and quite for once, but from his position the Hokage could see the almost manic, grin on his face. No question of whether he was guilty or not, he had written it all over his face.

The question was, how did the boy manage it. How did he manage to sneak into the Hyuga compound, through the compound and into the rooms of the elders?

It was almost inconceivable. No one had ever.... well besides the boys father. And there was the incident with Iruka. Then there was Crab a few years earlier. Not to mention Anko when she was 7...

He looked at Naruto suspiciously. And it was always the elders. Not anybody else, not from the main family nor from the branch... just the elders.

Sarutobi leaned back, stroking his beard. He looked at the elders, who now sported pink heads,hands and probably a few other body parts that didn't bear thinking about. Made them look a hundred years younger.

He stopped the chuckle before it had a chance to escape.

He looked at Hiashi, who somehow managed to look stern and angry... and ridiculously pleased at the same time. Now and again he looked at Naruto, and Sarutobi didn't like that looks at all. They reminded him of Anko, when she was about to eat a dango. Or an unfortunate, or very fortunate, depending on his stamina, young man. Though it was crossed with Danzo's look, when he watched new recruits. There was little doubt that Hiashi knew who Naruto's father was. The two had been friends of a sort.

"So, what exactly happened?" He finally asked, not that he didn't know, but hearing their side of the story would at least be entertaining.

"The brat somehow snuck into our home!" One of the elders started, voice trembling in outrage.

"Since we are hosting an important guest tomorrow all members of the clan were busy, with preparations." Another took up the narration seamlessly, Hiashi nodded dutifully a serious, unless you knew him, frown on his face.

"And he somehow managed to sneak bombs into our rooms." The last elder continued. Were they practicing that Sarutobi wondered.

"All our rooms are pink Hokage-Sama. Pink!" The firs again.

He didn't look at Hiashi, who was doing his damnest not to break out laughing. It was a good thing he wasn't facing the elders.

Instead he looked at Naruto. "Is that true? Did you plant those bombs in their rooms?"

Naruto lifted his head, all pretense of shame gone. "Yeah I did! I'm just that awesome!" He laughed loudly.

"Aha!" All the elders shouted together. "He admits it!"

If Hiashi didn't get out here soon he would have an aneurism or something, from trying to stop the laughter. Sarutobi wondered when he got a sense of humor, or if he just hid it better most of the time. As it was, he looked constipated.

"Yeah! And nobody can stop me!" The blond crowed to the world.

Shaking his head, Sarutobi sighed. Where did they go wrong? Once upon a time ninja were about stealth, about not being seen. Of course, that was before chakra became used as much as it did today. But did that mean they had to call attention to themselves?

Well his fault too he supposed, he didn't stop Jiraiya from turning into a loudmouthed pervert... not that that was a bad thing , of course. But that led to Minato not focusing enough on stealth in the academy curriculum... and that part had already been in decline...

"Yo old man, are you there?" Naruto's voice cut into his thoughts.

He coughed, as he forced his thoughts to return to the present.

"Yes, yes I'm here Naruto, just thinking." He sighed, deeply. This was going to take a lot out of him, keeping a straight face when faced with Naruto's pranks always was. Well it was when he actually managed to tag a ninja. Rare that. Even rarer for them to admit it. Usually they didn't tell, they got even.

"Naruto." He continued in his best I'm disappointed with you voice."What you did was very wrong..." A gurgle came from Hiashi, allowing him to stop his speech. Instead he focused on Hiashi. "I'm sorry Hiashi, is something wrong?" He asked the man, who looked rather pale.

"No, nothing is.... " He managed to stammer out, before standing up straight. "I mean, I must have eaten something that disagreed with me. With your permission Hokage-sama, elders, I'll take my leave. I believe we have some herbs at home that will help me with that." He said, in perfect Hyuga form, elders nodding approvingly at the display of self control.

Sarutobi nodded once, it was better the man didn't start laughing like a madman, or Anko, in his office.

Hiashi quickly left the office, shoulders shaking, face a hard mask.

"I hope Uzumaki will be appropriately punished. Maybe painting some fences." He said. "Or maybe he has to clean the walls in the house."

Naruto blinked, and looked at Hiashi in suspicion. Oh dear, didn't Iruka say they had just made fence covers, to hide behind in the academy?

Hiashi had seen him! Without a doubt Hiashi had seen Naruto and let him get away with it!

No wonder he was as amused as he was. And the branch house was probably in on it too.

No wonder kids managed to prank the elders every few years. Well suspicion confirmed. This meant of course, that he couldn't punish Naruto too harshly. But cleaning the rooms wasn't that bad a punishment. Especially since he would be supervised by the branch members.

"Yes, Hiashi's proposal has merit. Naruto will clean the rooms himself." He said.

The elders looked at each other, frowning. "But what about our faces?" Elder number one.

"We can't have him get away with that!" Elder number two.

"And there were important documents in our rooms!" Elder number three.

"They are ruined!" One again.

"Huh? There were only those little orange books in the room." Naruto exclaimed, wounding the vaunted Hyuga pride severely

And there was silence.

Feet were shuffled, coughs were discovered and looks exchanged.

"Well cleaning the rooms should be enough." Number three agreed, bowing ever so slightly.

Sarutobi nodded, once. "Good, still I think I'll have a little chat with Naruto. To remind him what he is," a pregnant pause made Naruto shuffle, "and isn't allowed to do."

Nasty smirks appeared on the elders faces, but they left without another word.

Sighing Sarutobi looked at Naruto. "What am I going to do with you?" He asked, though he did smile softly.

"Give me your hat?" The young boy asked hopefully.

"Not quite yet I'm afraid." he coughed, leaned forward and waved Naruto to come closer.

The boys eyes shifted left and right, then he inched closer.

"Now Naruto, why don't you tell me exactly, what you did to them?" he whisperd.


End file.
